Our mothers used to tell us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” The Loser’s mother should have told him, “If you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything.” But the Loser was never told this. Or maybe he was and he didn’t listen.

So here’s the situation, fellas. Put yourself in the Loser’s shoes: You have a sexy, 22-year-old redhead sitting on your couch. She’s wearing a red, strapless top and a short, black skirt that’s slit all the way up her leg. She’s in your house because she wants to fuck. That’s the only reason she’s there. But she seems a little nervous. So what would you do?

Put her at ease? Try to calm her down? Make her laugh? Talk about sex? That’s what we would do.

But what does the Loser do? He asks Andi about her friends and relatives back home. He asks, “What’re you gonna do if they find out?”

In other words, the thing she’s probably most nervous about is the thing he decides to ask her about. Way to put the girl at ease, Loser.

But he doesn’t stop there.

“Nervous?” he asks her.

“A little,” Andi says.

“That’s okay,” Loser says. “So am I.”

At this point, it’s a miracle the scene ever gets shot, but give Andi, who’s a paramedic, all the credit. She uses her mouth to resuscitate what should be a disaster and works his cock nicely. Even when the phone rings–hasn’t the Loser ever heard of turning off the ringer while shooting a scene?–she keeps going until he drops his load on her face.

At least he’s good for something.

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Chloe works in retail because she enjoys helping her customers. If you need help with sizes or finding a pair of pants, she’s on it in a second. But her services go further than that. Does your cock need stroking? Chloe is more than happy to lend a helping hand. Want to get your dick wet? Her mouth and pussy will get the job done.

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If you ever wondered what it would be like to see a girl fucking on a couch that’s floating through outer space, this scene is for you. The Loser screws up the lighting so badly in this scene that it looks like Aubrey is getting fucked into a black hole. We also get a good look at the Loser’s ass when he’s trying to cum on her face. Those of you who are into man-ass will love it.

Ah, but we should stop begin so negative, especially since this scene features a young, sexy, corn-fed Midwestern chick getting fucked on camera for the first time. Aubrey Lee is a 20-year-old, blue-eyed, strawberry blonde from Wisconsin, and the best thing about her is that she looks like the girl next door. In fact, as she tells us during the pre-fuck interview, the first time she’d ever been on a plane was when she flew out to California to fuck the Loser.

Perhaps she had dreams of big-screen glory. Perhaps she fantasized about getting the star treatment: a limo at the airport, hair and makeup by a professional stylist, a director who knew enough to turn off the camera when a dog started barking in the background.

But there was none of that for Aubrey Lee. Just some Loser fumbling with his camera while he tried to fuck her.

Successfully, we might add. It would be impossible not to get it up for Aubrey…who, by the way, has her kinky side. Give the Loser credit for this much: He finds hot chicks.

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The Loser proves that if you have a video camera, you can get the chicks. Otherwise, there’s no way a 19-year-old hottie like Amber (a 5′, 96-pound, blue-eyed blonde from Las Vegas, Nevada) would go anywhere near a guy like him. But there she is, sitting on his bed, ready to get down on her knees and suck his pathetic little cock when the call for action comes.

Yeah, the Loser’s cock is a pathetic little thing, and it looks tinier than ever, like a travel-sized weiner, when Amber starts sucking it. A trains horn sounds in the background. But Amber isn’t distracted, and apparently neither is the Loser. Or is Amber such a good cock sucker that she could get a dead man hard?

One of the best things the Loser does in this scene is put down his hand-held camera. Let’s face it, the Loser is never good at working it, anyway, and working without it gives him the chance to concentrate on the fucking. Amber is really into the sex, squatting on his cock, bouncing up and down. Ah, but then Loser makes the mistake of picking up the camera, and instead of seeing the fucking, we see Amber’s face.

But, as fortune would have it, that’s not a bad thing because the look on Amber’s face says, “Fuck me!” This points out one of the inadvertently good things about amateur porn. The pro guys would be focused on the cock going in and out of the pussy the whole time. But the Loser made a mistake, the mistake resulted in him focusing on her face, and that turned out to be good.

Amber fucks him harder. The camera rattles. She fucks him so hard that the lens is wandering all over. Amber’s really loving her scene, loving the idea of fucking in front of a camera for all of us to watch.

The Loser is enjoying Amber, too, and he’d better. He’s never gonna get this piece of ass again.

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When a girl shows up at your door, saying she’s there for the audition, then starts playing with that hula-hoop thingie, what’re you gonna do? Fuck her, right? Especially if the situation presents itself, as it does here with Ann, who’s 29 and from St. Louis, Missouri. Yeah, she looks younger. Cum helps maintain her youthful looks. “I do fuck a lot,” Ann told us. “I’m horny all the time, and when you’re a girl, you can pretty much get it whenever you want it.” Only if you’re a pretty girl. Or a marginally attractive girl. Or a girl with a working pussy. Let’s face it: We guys are horny toads. That’s what chicks like Ann are for.

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