Porn Loser

You're on your own, honey.

“I wanna be a porn star,” 20-year-old Alicia Alighatti of Virginia tells us at the start of her scene. She’s got the looks to go as far as she wants. Nice, firm tits. Five-feet-seven, 120 pounds. Long, brown hair. Perfect measurements: 36-26-36.

But here’s the deal: This is her first fuck scene. The Loser has been doing this for a while. He’s the director. He’s the pro. He’s supposed to be the one in charge. Yet, there are times during this scene when we want to scream at our monitors, “Loser, direct the fucking scene already!”

Yeah, we know. He’s having a hard enough time just keeping his dick up to worry about directing the chick. But when the girl’s hair is blocking the view of her left tit, he should be aware of that. He should say, “Alicia, please move your hair aside.” But he’s concentrating too hard on his own fucking–this isn’t easy for him, you know–so she has to figure it out for herself. She rides his cock. We’re treated to a view of the back of his head. He’s fucking her in the spoon position. She blocks the insertion with her hand so as to rub her clit. This is when the Loser is supposed to say, “Move your hand just a little so the guys at home can see my cock moving in and out of your pussy.” He doesn’t say anything.

Finally, things are going well. The Loser is fucking Alicia missionary style. She’s moaning, really getting into it. Then, suddenly, it’s like an earthquake just struck Loser Studios. He stops, pulls out, the camera seems to have been knocked to the ground, he mumbles something incomprehensible, we see her clothes on the floor, she’s lying there trying to figure out what just happened, he finally shovels his cock back into her.

Jeez! Can this guy do anything right? Well, yeah, it turns out, he can. He can find hot chicks who love to fuck and are good at it. Girls who love sex, as Alicia clearly does. You are going to get off on this scene. Despite the Loser’s worst efforts.

You're on your own, honey.

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Does your daddy know what you're doing?

Jordan, a 5′8″, 128-pound, blue-eyed blonde from Kansas has a story.

“My parents have been swingers for a long time,” the 21-year-old beauty
explains. “I wanted to do Playboy, so I figured, Why not try porn?”

That makes no sense at all. Playboy isn’t porn. But the Loser doesn’t pick
up on that. Or maybe he does and, for a change, decides to be smart and say
nothing. But then he makes his usual mistake: He asks her what would happen
if her father found out.

Mercifully, the pre-fuck interview finally ends, and Jordan gets down on her knees and suck the Loser’s cock, and, as usual, he takes forever to get it up but finally does. The camera work in this scene is typical Loser-?off-the-set shots, views of his legs when we want to see her pussy, shots of his ass when he’s fucking her missionary-but you know what they say: You gotta take the bad with the good.

The bad: Loser.

The very good: Jordan. Her beautiful tits jiggle and jiggle while he fucks
her in the missionary position, and this view alone is enough to make us
want to forgive the Loser all of his faults.

Bottom line: Jordan cums. Loser cums. And so do we.

Does your daddy know what you're doing?

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She’s Alektra-fying!

14 January, 2009

She's Alektra-fying!

Alektra is great. She’s an exotic-looking, 21-year-old babe with a smokin’ body: 5′6″, 110 pounds, 34-24-34. She tells the Loser that she’s never done porn before, but the way she fucks in this scene, it’s clear she has big things ahead of her. Big cocks, big money.

The Loser, however, is another story. This is the best he’s ever gonna do, by far. He’s nervous. He can’t keep the camera steady during the pre-fuck interview. As an interviewer, he’s the worst, never knowing what to ask next, the opposite of a smooth talker. You’d think the girl, having never done a scene on camera before, would be the nervous one. And you’d be wrong.

When the sex starts, Alektra goes down to suck him off, pierced tongue and all, but Loser can’t get it up. This hot chick is blowing his sorry limp dick, trying her damnest, and he can’t sport wood. She takes his cock all the way into her mouth, deep-throating him like a pro. Maybe he’s distracted. We hear cars in the background. Is the Loser’s mother home?

Finally, he gets a hard-on and they start fucking. “What do you think so far?” he dares to ask her. She giggles. “It’s fun.” She giggles again. And again. Obviously, something about the Loser’s cock is tickling her funny bone.

But you know what? Even the Loser can’t ruin a scene when there’s a hot chick involved. Alektra looks right into one of the cameras while he’s deep-dicking her and moans loudly. Good stuff. She always seems to be aware of the camera, like she’s fucking those of us at home.

WARNING: This is very amateur stuff. But Alektra saves the day. And our hard-ons.

She's Alektra-fying!

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Allison Pierce goes deep

In the world of the Loser, all women are the same. They get asked the same questions. They get asked to do the same things before the fucking starts. “Does anybody know you’re here?” “Why are you here?” “Can you take your clothes off?”

So, here we have Allison Pierce, a 22-year-old from Texas. Five-feet-six, 115 pounds blue eyes, blonde hair. Smiles a lot. Giggles a lot. “I’m excited. Kinda nervous,” she says. Now, at this point, it might be nice to find out something about her. Maybe find out what makes her different from some of the Loser’s other girls. But the Loser is a total Loser. He can’t think on his feet, he can’t put a rap on the girl, he can’t have a conversation with her, he can’t treat her like a real human being. Good grief!

So, as usual, it’s left to the girl to save the scene, and Allison is up to the task. Deep-throating, eyes always on the camera. Allison’s cock-sucking skills are a thing of beauty. The Loser doesn’t deserve her, especially when she licks his balls…eyes, again, looking directly into the camera. Nervous? She sure doesn’t seem nervous.

Neither does the Loser, who can’t help but keep it hard throughout the scene.

One thing we really love: When Allison is getting fucked doggy style, her hair gets messy and starts flying all over the place. In pro porn, they would’ve fixed her up, made it seem as if a girl’s hair stays perfect when she’s fucking. In amateur porn like this, the sex looks real because it is. We even get a nice view of the Loser’s cock penetrating her pussy from behind. The lighting is perfect, as is the focus and the camera angle.

Must have been a mistake.

Allison Pierce goes deep

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You Gotta Earn It

3 January, 2009

You Gotta Earn It

Remi doesn’t mind doing the work when it comes to fucking, but you’ve got to earn it first. How do you do that? Follow this guy’s example by fondling and sucking her perky tits till her nipples are hard as pencil erasers. Then lick her pussy like it’s the last ice cream cone on earth. After that, Remi will gladly get down on her knees to suck and jerk your dripping cock. When it’s time to fuck, she’ll get on top and do all the work with her pussy so you can lay back and enjoy the ride.

You Gotta Earn It

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Ass-fucked by an asshole

There are some things even the Loser can’t mess up. Like Erika, a 25-year-old blonde who was raised in Missouri, lives in New York City and ranks as the Loser’s naughtiest discovery yet.

Yeah, he tries to fuck it up, like by asking her if she has any reservations about what she’s about to do. But Erika smiles and says in her little girl’s voice, “I think it’s going to be fun. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of years, and the more I think about it, the hornier I get.”

It’s immediately clear that Erika has no reservations about sucking and fucking in front of the camera. She gets right into the blow job, and Loser gets into it, too, getting hard instantly, which is a change for him. Erika attempts to deep-throat him while looking at the camera, then after one failure, succeeds and gags on his cock.

“That makes my nipples rock hard every time,” she says. She spits on his cock and works it with her hand. She licks and sucks his balls, then deep-throats him again.

Oh, sure, there are the usual Porn Loser fuck ups, like the bright camera lights we see in the background while she’s riding him. But Erika refuses to be distracted, and so do we. She’s sexy, horny, sloppy, so into it that the Loser can’t keep his camera steady.

“Every time I look at that camera, I think about how naughty I’m being,” she says.

“I think anal sex is the best sex,” she says.

Can the Loser’s cock find its way into Erika’s ass? You’re gonna have to find out for yourself.

Ass-fucked by an asshole

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The Loser pours on the charm

Our mothers used to tell us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” The Loser’s mother should have told him, “If you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything.” But the Loser was never told this. Or maybe he was and he didn’t listen.

So here’s the situation, fellas. Put yourself in the Loser’s shoes: You have a sexy, 22-year-old redhead sitting on your couch. She’s wearing a red, strapless top and a short, black skirt that’s slit all the way up her leg. She’s in your house because she wants to fuck. That’s the only reason she’s there. But she seems a little nervous. So what would you do?

Put her at ease? Try to calm her down? Make her laugh? Talk about sex? That’s what we would do.

But what does the Loser do? He asks Andi about her friends and relatives back home. He asks, “What’re you gonna do if they find out?”

In other words, the thing she’s probably most nervous about is the thing he decides to ask her about. Way to put the girl at ease, Loser.

But he doesn’t stop there.

“Nervous?” he asks her.

“A little,” Andi says.

“That’s okay,” Loser says. “So am I.”

At this point, it’s a miracle the scene ever gets shot, but give Andi, who’s a paramedic, all the credit. She uses her mouth to resuscitate what should be a disaster and works his cock nicely. Even when the phone rings–hasn’t the Loser ever heard of turning off the ringer while shooting a scene?–she keeps going until he drops his load on her face.

At least he’s good for something.

The Loser pours on the charm

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Service That Goes Above And Beyond

Chloe works in retail because she enjoys helping her customers. If you need help with sizes or finding a pair of pants, she’s on it in a second. But her services go further than that. Does your cock need stroking? Chloe is more than happy to lend a helping hand. Want to get your dick wet? Her mouth and pussy will get the job done.

Service That Goes Above And Beyond

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Porn, the final frontier

18 December, 2008

Porn, the final frontier

If you ever wondered what it would be like to see a girl fucking on a couch that’s floating through outer space, this scene is for you. The Loser screws up the lighting so badly in this scene that it looks like Aubrey is getting fucked into a black hole. We also get a good look at the Loser’s ass when he’s trying to cum on her face. Those of you who are into man-ass will love it.

Ah, but we should stop begin so negative, especially since this scene features a young, sexy, corn-fed Midwestern chick getting fucked on camera for the first time. Aubrey Lee is a 20-year-old, blue-eyed, strawberry blonde from Wisconsin, and the best thing about her is that she looks like the girl next door. In fact, as she tells us during the pre-fuck interview, the first time she’d ever been on a plane was when she flew out to California to fuck the Loser.

Perhaps she had dreams of big-screen glory. Perhaps she fantasized about getting the star treatment: a limo at the airport, hair and makeup by a professional stylist, a director who knew enough to turn off the camera when a dog started barking in the background.

But there was none of that for Aubrey Lee. Just some Loser fumbling with his camera while he tried to fuck her.

Successfully, we might add. It would be impossible not to get it up for Aubrey…who, by the way, has her kinky side. Give the Loser credit for this much: He finds hot chicks.

Porn, the final frontier

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Just keep sucking, baby.

11 December, 2008

Just keep sucking, baby.

The Loser proves that if you have a video camera, you can get the chicks. Otherwise, there’s no way a 19-year-old hottie like Amber (a 5′, 96-pound, blue-eyed blonde from Las Vegas, Nevada) would go anywhere near a guy like him. But there she is, sitting on his bed, ready to get down on her knees and suck his pathetic little cock when the call for action comes.

Yeah, the Loser’s cock is a pathetic little thing, and it looks tinier than ever, like a travel-sized weiner, when Amber starts sucking it. A trains horn sounds in the background. But Amber isn’t distracted, and apparently neither is the Loser. Or is Amber such a good cock sucker that she could get a dead man hard?

One of the best things the Loser does in this scene is put down his hand-held camera. Let’s face it, the Loser is never good at working it, anyway, and working without it gives him the chance to concentrate on the fucking. Amber is really into the sex, squatting on his cock, bouncing up and down. Ah, but then Loser makes the mistake of picking up the camera, and instead of seeing the fucking, we see Amber’s face.

But, as fortune would have it, that’s not a bad thing because the look on Amber’s face says, “Fuck me!” This points out one of the inadvertently good things about amateur porn. The pro guys would be focused on the cock going in and out of the pussy the whole time. But the Loser made a mistake, the mistake resulted in him focusing on her face, and that turned out to be good.

Amber fucks him harder. The camera rattles. She fucks him so hard that the lens is wandering all over. Amber’s really loving her scene, loving the idea of fucking in front of a camera for all of us to watch.

The Loser is enjoying Amber, too, and he’d better. He’s never gonna get this piece of ass again.

Just keep sucking, baby.

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